• Twitter Updates

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

  • Advertisements

How To Talk Like A Most Creative Person

See on Scoop.itcooperative intelligence

At the center of every great projectwhether Google Maps a podcast or Nashvillelies a conversation. Just ask Daniel Graf Connie Britton and Marc Maron…

Ellen Naylor‘s insight:

Conversation will always be a key to sprouting creativity. We need fellow human beings to help us develop our creative seeds. We always get our best ideas and creative juices from interacting with fellow human beings. They also remind us about the markeplace of products, services and ideas that are out there–keep us from being blind sided. We all have biases and blinders. It’s human nature.

I particularly like Marc Maron’s quote: “I don’t make a list of questions. Ever. I think a lot of my interviews are driven by my need to feel connection. You listen and when you hear intonations, you hear feelings. It’s just feeling where there’s something more, getting them to a place that they’re not usually.”

This is how I like to interview too. Unlike Marc, I do write down the questions since my client is paying me to get information so I need to stay on track.

Like Marc, I feel that imperative to feel and listen for intonations, and to connect with the other person and forget about myself.

I believe that a major part of interview preparation is getting in the zone to be receptive to what the other person will be willing to share in a conversation. I have learned that “how you are” is more important than all that thorough business preparation of getting the questions all organized in the ‘right’ order. We need to be flexible in our approach while interviewing, since it’s all about the other person, not me.

See on www.fastcompany.com

Advertisements

Markham Nolan: How to separate fact and fiction online | Video on TED.com

See on Scoop.itcooperative intelligence

By the end of this talk, there will be 864 more hours of video on YouTube and 2.5 million more photos on Facebook and Instagram. So how do we sort through the deluge?

Ellen Naylor‘s insight:

Great talk by world class journalist, Markham Nolan, based in Dublin. Here are some of the nuggets: Twitter is where journalists go 1st and raid Twitter lists for good sources; YouTube is a great repository for what’s going on in the world. All sources need to be checked since there is a lot of fake stuff. Free web tools provide great resources for cross-checking such as Spokeo and Google maps.

While there is a great abundance of info on the Internet, it is more important than ever to filter through what you need to find the right stuff, and then verify that it’s accurate. The truth is never binary. You will never be able to remove the human being from the truth seeking exercise, which is what journalists do. So do researchers and competitive intelligence analysts. I guess we have good job security.

See on www.ted.com

Conversational Intelligence

I have heard two discussions around conversation this week, coming from very different angles, which have similar recommendations. Engage in a true dialog with the other individual. That means listen to them, and don’t go off on a monologue.

So what happens when we monologue? Biologically our body releases a higher level of reward hormones and we feel great. Our bodies crave that high and we become blind to what we’re doing to the other person, who is feeling invisible, unimportant and minimized. Meanwhile they are experiencing the same neurochemicals as physical pain.

Conversational intelligenceJudith Glaser’s upcoming book, Conversational Intelligence, focuses on getting business people, and particularly sales people, to listen to their customers and to engage them in conversation. But first we need to recognize our blind spots. Two common ones are:

  • Assuming that others see what you see, feel what you feel, and think what you think
  • Thinking you understand and remember what others say, when you really only remember what you think about what they’ve said

Harville Hendrix explains that many people become self absorbed due to emotional events in their childhood, usually from their major caregivers that trigger an anxious response. This goes deeply into their emotional memory and follows them into adulthood. Ever wonder why most people live in the WIFM (what’s in it for me) world? At meetings and conferences, they are the ones who tell you what they do, how you can help them, and jam their business card at you without finding out about you aside from your name, which they probably forget immediately. Or conversely, they want to know all about you, but don’t tell you about themselves even when you probe.

Harville Hendrix Helen LaKelly HuntHarville Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt have found that three factors lead to “conscious partnership” between marital partners: safety, connection and joyful aliveness. Low self esteem and interpersonal negativity (putting others down) make it hard to feel safe and connected in an intimate relationship. Gee, doesn’t that sound familiar with relationships we forge in business too?

In couples research, Harville and Helen concluded that most individuals talk in monologue with their mate. We listen, but we don’t hear. Actually I think this is a common phenomenon in everyday life in personal and business dealings. We forget that our true self is part of the bigger whole, and a great place to start is at home with your loved ones.

Tips for improving your dialog skills:

  • Pay attention and minimize the time you monopolize the conversational space
  • Share that space by asking open-ended questions that let the other person know you heard and are listening
  • Listen non-judgmentally to their answers
  • Mirror their responses to make sure you understood
  • Validate what they’re saying
  • Empathize and respond to their feelings

These are the same skills of a good researcher and competitive intelligence professional who is in the collection mode. Good dialog skills can help you in relationship building. It’s a shame that we are not taught from a young age in the US how to conduct a decent dialog. Schools teach us to be competitive and to excel rather than to be cooperative and to learn from others through conversation. Competitiveness encourages that boring monologue, WIFM tendency from an early age.

%d bloggers like this: